I thought today I would share a little about myself. This is a sliver of the intro to the Ebook I’m writing and it’s very personal. Truth: I’m a little uncomfortable sharing it but I’m still sharing it. Why am I sharing it then?
I hear others say “Go with your gut feeling” quite a bit and most of the time that’s shitty advice. If went with my gut feeling I would do nothing, go now where and be nothing.
I don’t have the right to tell you what to do. If you want, follow your gut, but for me? I’m going to do the complete opposite.
I say don’t go with your gut feeling. Do what scares you. Find what you’re afraid of and punch it in the face!
Excerpt from my ebook
A little about me.
Two years ago I was homeless. I was sleeping in a friends basement. It was a pretty low time in my life.
I considered killing myself.
One day I drive up into the mountains, parked my car and walked over to the edge of a cliff.
I didn’t feel I had much to live for and somewhere years ago I’d lost the fear of dying so I walked over and looked down.
The drop was at least 200 feet. I put one foot out started the process of ending my life. One more step and it would be over.
I had a thought. It was my three children. I saw their future selves. I saw my daughter Laurelei at her wedding and I wasn’t there to give her away. I saw my son Riley at his graduation and I saw his wonderful smile, but I wasn’t there. I saw my son Jasper getting in a fight and needing someone to clean his cut and it wasn’t me. I was gone. I was dead.
I stepped back and fell down on the rock. I cried. What the fuck had happened to me? I’d lost hope. I’d lost everything. How did I get to suck a low place?
That was the moment when things started to change.
I made a decision. Full accountability. Higher standards. I would make my life worth living again.
More than anything I would be there for those things. Maybe I would be late, but I would be there.
My children are my reason for everything I do.
I’ve had my fair share of struggles. I point out later that even thought I’ve had struggles they don’t stop me from reaching my goals.
One thing I realized just in the last year is I am not special. I am a normal person. I am just like you. I have problems and I deal with them.
Some people like to share their problems. I think they probably enjoy the attention. I don’t. If you took everyone in the entire world who have faced major problems and put them into one room everyone one in the world would be in that room.
I don’t want attention but in a world where attention means success? What do you do? I am still figuring out this fucked up paradox. I wonder if there is even an answer.
Do you know the answer? If you do let’s talk.
On a lighter note! Haha!
I’m throwing a photo walk!
Photo walk Meet up: March 12th at 10am
Location: City Creek Center at the Sky bridge
Bring your camera!
Now is a great time to message me about enrolling in one of the workshops that I’m teaching. Ikonrepublik@yahoo.com
In the Middle of April they will cost more!
Ikon Republik- I am a photographer based in Salt Lake City Utah.
I am the founder of VEGA Magazine. I like to write. I like to play guitar. Most of the time my life is pretty awesome. I offer photo sessions and I teach personal photography lessons.
Ikonrepublik@yahoo.com just in case you missed it before.
Please give me about 1 day to respond.(I currently check my email once a day!)