Yeah. So I’m in Sugarhouse Coffee. I was at Heather’s house and just sitting down to watch my movie and her roommate came up from downstairs and flipped out. I completely understand. We have never met. I have no idea who he is and he doesn’t know who I am.
Image you walk upstairs and a dude in a beanie is sitting on your couch watching a movie on his laptop. I get it. I’d be concerned too. I left. I had a blog post to finish and now I’m sitting listening to Yellow Ledbetter and trying to figure out what Eddie is saying. What is he saying?
Anyhow. I was thinking about how the guy reacted and how I could’ve reacted.
Today I feel like there is this overall un-trust and idea that someone is going to rip you off. People feel like becoming hard and tough is the way to get through this life safe and it is.. but it’s not the way to get through life successfully. The way to get through life is to share, be kind, and be grateful.
A few years back I was in a bar and let’s just say I was sorta hungry and in a bad mood and I got into a fight and almost went to jail.
About two months ago I was in the middle of the desert talking with a young man who had broken a guys nose in a bar and I won’t go into details because it’s not my story but I feel like this world need more empathy. I feel like we need to consider the other guy more often. I guess the thing is I’m sitting here listening to Pearl Jam and wondering how I would have reacted to the guy coming up to me and freaking out a few years back. What would I have done? I would have punched him. I’m grateful for change. Now back to listening to Ledbetter.. Such a great song!
Thursday May 31st 2018
I woke up this morning and I could hear people outside my van. I was parked next to their trash cans and I think they were worried about the trash man being able to get to their trash so I moved quickly. It would suck if I was the reason they didn’t get their trash can emptied.
Now I’m at the coffee shop writing and having a small breakfast. Living in a van is not always fun or easy but most of the time I love it. There are downsides like less showers and… Living in a house is easy cause everything is there. It’s convenient. Living in a van.. traveling is not convenient all the time. You have to figure out a lot of little details. One of may big problems is keeping my devices and batteries charged. I continually stop at coffee shops and buy something, so I don’t feel like I’m using their wifi for free, so I can charge stuff, write and post. Soon I’m gonna get a solar power unit for my van sometime soon… My next big purchase.
My mother called me. I’m sure she reads my blog posts which is kinda cool cause I didn’t think she did. She said something like.. “Are you crazy? 50 states in a year or two?” I get it. Parents mostly want their kids to be comfortable. They don’t want you to suffer or be in pain. In my mind this is one of the biggest reasons why kids struggle when they grow up. When someone is always stepping in and helping you out you don’t learn how to survive, you don’t learn that failing is o.k and you don’t get that drive to change that others get from failing. You learn that someone is always there and you don’t have to be independent. I’m not saying as a parent you should never step in because sometimes you should but I think when you do it too much you show you kid that you don’t have faith in them. Anyhow we had a good chat and explained to her that it’s already coming together. I have a dates and workshops are being set up. I know she’s just worried and I appreciate that and I love her so don’t think I’m bashing her cause she’s not an enabler. I understand her. My father and my mother are amazing.
A few years back I was in a really tough spot. I was homeless. I was lonely and one night a rat fell on my head while I was sleeping. I wanted to die and I almost did. The thing is I hadn’t hit rock bottom. And then I got a call from my father and after that cal I hit rock bottom. I never wanted to in that place again. Sometimes I wonder how did my dad get so wise? How did he know I need help hitting that terrible place? Rock bottom hurt and I promised myself I would never be there again. It’s been almost 4 years since that day and I’m grateful for it. I don’t have almost anything of what I used to have. I don’t live in a nice house. I sold the car I loved, my Acura so I could get this van. I miss my kids more than anything in the world and I still have a lot of things I that I ran from for so long that I have to now face. The difference is I am not the man I used to be. I feel strong. I feel confident.. and maybe I understand a little more now that when you keep running away from life and problems, your life doesn’t get better and your problems don’t go away. At some point you have to face your dragons and tame them. So that’s where I’m at. I’m here to tame the dragons and make my life amazing.
That’s been my morning so far.
Today I am probably picking up Vee’s dog to help her out. I’ll have him for a few days and then I have a photo shoot at 4. Tomorrow my cousin Danny will be in town so I really want to meet up with him cause he’s cool and then in the evening I am heading to Green River to camp and shoot models. I’m also working on the workshops and I want to have the first one posted by next week. Hopefully I’ll have time to post later this evening because I enjoy writing on this blog.
If you have any questions about photography.. or anything else you think I could help you with message me!
You can reach me at
Ikon Republik- I live and travel in a frickin van and I founded a magazine, VEGA Magazine. My magazine is full of beautiful nude women and soon it will include amazing articles on how to improve your life! Out of the last 8 months, I have spent 4 of them living in the desert, under the stars and cooking over a campfire that was made with two sticks and a bow. I believe in self sufficiency and integrity. Now you know a little about who I am.