This morning I woke up in a tent. I drove up the river and placed my Kayak in it and floated for 3 hours. Right now I’m sitting in a coffee shop in West Yellowstone Montana. I’m gonna write this post and then I’m gonna message a few models in San Francisco, Portland and Seattle so I can get those workshops organized.
Why do I talk about things that don’t have much to do with photography on this blog?
There are quite a few reasons.
One of them is there a thousands of other blogs where you can learn the basics of photography. The technical part of photography is a very small part of being a good photographer. You do have to know about aperture and depth of fiend and shutter speed and how to use your camera but after writing tons of blog posts on it I don’t feel like regurgitating those things is gonna help you a lot.
I usually talk about business and psychology on here which might be odd because I don’t know any other photographer who writes blog posts on psychology.
So why do I do this?
I really screwed up my life. I mean I screwed it up royally! I’ll tell you some personal things in a few that I don’t like to share but I do because I don’t want you to go through the things I went through! Wisdom is the ability to learn without having to experience. I wasn’t smart enough for a long time to understand that.
Another reason I talk about these things is because I want to do something great for you and if I can help you learn from the thing I know have helped me.. That would be amazing! I’m not always correct in what I say and I might change my mind in a month about something but I promise you I look for the best, most helpful information to pass onto you.
Something very few people know about me.
A few years back I went to jail. It sucked and for the few days I sat there planning revenge. Then after the third day I stated to notice all the guys who would come on and how they complained and wanted revenge and I didn’t see most of them getting out and doing anything different. I felt like they would be back there again in year or two or whenever. I didn’t want to every be back there. So I started thinking about how I could change so that when I got out I wouldn’t find myself back there. I could only think of one thing. I would become something so great and good and I would inspire others to be amazing by example.
The saddest thing to me is that I shouldn’t have been there. I didn’t do what I was accused and convicted of. I was there because I didn’t believe I deserved a good life. I was there because I thought other people were more important than me. I was there because I didn’t stand up for myself. Fucking Stupid huh? I was there because I lived my life in what is known as a passive stance.
I didn’t know about Passive stances until about a year ago when I paid for and took a class on how to be more assertive.
What I learned in that class made me understand why I did stand up for myself and ended up in jail because of another persons lies.
The basics behind assertiveness training are simple. They are based on human rights and responsibilities.
A few of the rights we have are:
1. Say no
2. Make offers
3. Defend ourselves
A few of the responsibilities we have are
1. Accept the word no from others
2. Accept that others can decline our offers
3. Not place others in harm’s way.
There are a lot more and this is only part of Assertiveness training but it’s one part I didn’t know.
Another part is Stances.
There are three stances
1. Passive stance
2. Assertive stance
3. Aggressive stance
They are neither bad or good and they all have their place and time to be used.
In some societies having an assertive stance can get you killed so people from those places conform to a passive stance
The problem with being passive is you continually feel taken advantage of. I used to follow what is called the See Saw effect. I would be passive for a while and then I would get mad because I felt taken advantage of and I would go to the aggressive stance. It’s know as passive aggressive behavior and it sucks.
Assertive Stance is, I feel the best stance for most of life. It’s a balance that is gained through understanding and then practicing. Sometimes It means compromise but most of the time it’s the place where you set your boundaries and you hold your boundaries.
Aggressive stance is what you see in a football gave and it’s good to become aggressive in a fight or flight scenario or in a competition.
Aggressive behavior is destructive when it’s used in a relationship or when it’s used at the wrong time.
These things really helped me.
I used to call people toxic and after taking classes, and spending lots of money to understand how to make my life better I realized there are not a lot of toxic people around. Usually the person complaining that others are toxic lives in a passive stance, or is on the See Saw and goes between passive and aggressive.
This is good to learn if you are going to run a business because when you run a company things don’t always run smoothly. In fact I would say that 70 percent of the time things run roughly… at least for the first year. A business is about making a fair trade and in life some people don’t make fair trades. Learning to see a fair trade and how to say “No” to unfair trades is the going to be the difference between a succussful business and failed business.
Another thing that I have learned lately that has really helped me In my business is learning about Dominance hierarchies and idea of tribal safety.
I won’t talk about talk about hierarchies a lot today but I will soon.
I do want to talk about Tribal safety and how understanding it helps me understand others and life.
Do you ever wonder why people shame others for being promiscuous? It’s called slut shaming.
I used to think it began as a way to control masses that the Catholic church instituted. It was priest named Damien I do believe that approached this idea first.
But why did he create rules around sex?
It started way before he wrote them down.
It started with tribes.
Image you live in a tribe 200 thousand years ago and it’s important to keep the tribe safe. One evening one of the females in the tribe heads off into the woods and has an escapade with a few dudes from another tribe. She comes back into the tribe and without knowing she spreads a disease to the entire tribe and within a few years they all die.
This is the core reason why we slut shame. I don’t agree or condone slut shaming but at least know I understand it.
Maybe the most important thing I got from the idea of tribal safety is that somewhere deep inside of me I never felt right when I lived the promiscuous lifestyle. I always felt tension and nervousness and that feeling was not a feeling that I enjoy. It’s a feeling knowing I was putting myself and possibly my future family or loved ones in danger. So now I don’t go out and live that life. I want more. I know what I want and when I add Assertiveness training to that It’s easy to say…. “Na. let’s be friends.”
my mentor once said, “ You have to have values. You have to say no to people who don’t have the same values because you can’t please everyone. Making everyone else happy at your expense will end with making no one happy.”
I hope you like what I write. I hope you learn and grow from it because one of my fears in life is I just pass on the same old boring information that
doesn’t make you think. It doesn’t make you question anything and it doesn’t help you grow.
As I was living in the desert for the last 8 months something in me changed. I made myself a promise that when I left the job, which was helping young adults and youth change their lives through positive example and love, I would continue. That’s why I can’t go back to just writing about photography. I believe sharing and passing on good information can change a life. And I change one life then my life isn’t a waste.
I’m setting up workshops in Portland, Seattle, California and Reno Currently.
One really cool thing I offer is ” Hire me to teach a workskhop” The idea behind this is for you to share in the profits of workshops I teach. How it works is.
- You hire me to teach a workshop for you!
- You find models and the locations.
- We coordinate. We market and promote together.
- I ask for 50 percent of the profit, minimum, 3,000 dollars and you keep 50 percent!
- All workshop I teach after SLC are $899
- I focus on teaching nude/bourdoir workshops with some kind of flair! Fliar is what makes it unique! maybe it’s a classic sports car or motorcycle. Maybe it a cool location!
- Message me and let’s make it happen!
Ikon Republik- I live and travel in a frickin van and I love my life! I founded a magazine, VEGA Magazine. My magazine is full of beautiful nude women and its based around the idea of respect and soon it will include amazing articles on how to improve your life! Out of the last 8 months, I have spent 4 of them living in the desert, under the stars and cooking over a campfire that was made with two sticks and a bow. I believe in self-sufficiency and integrity. Now you know a little about who I am. I’d love to know more about you! My plan to tour the USA and teaching a workshop in every state! It’s gonna take a while but I’ve started!